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Trigger Happy Jack

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651Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 3:31 pm

I smile softly as he refills my glass, watching the liquor splash across the sides before settling as I put my glass back on the table between us. 

"I know how that felt," I say, "I just wanted to be Maja. She was bold and strong, and everyone loved her. You couldn't go anywhere she was that you didn't know her, that you weren't her friend. Nothing ever seemed to bother her or keep her down, even when she and Jean would break up, or we'd fight, it didn't matter. 

"She never let it show."

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652Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 3:41 pm

"What is it about older sisters that makes them seem like such superhumans?" I laugh, shaking my head sadly. "I mean, I'm blind and I still carry pictures of her around. Or, you know... I did. What happened to all my stuff anyway? Does Cael still have it?"

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653Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 3:46 pm

I'm sobered as I recall the pictures Richard had gone through, my features growing solemn as I shake my head. 

"No, uhm-" I clear my throat, gesturing off towards the door. "I had them when that echo picked me up... They're here... somewhere. Richard has them, I think."

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654Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 3:50 pm

"Richard has them?" I frown, shifting anxiously as I feel my eyes tracking along the room blindly. "I don't- I don't think I like that... we need to find them."

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655Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 3:51 pm

"No!" I say quickly, shaking my head as I frown, "I mean, let's find new ones. You have pictures everywhere in here." I offer lamely, wincing at my own knee-jerk reaction. 

"I'm sure some of this stuff has to be hers, right?"

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656Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:14 pm

"Ljuba," I frown as my head tilts toward her. Her heart is pounding. "What aren't you telling me?? Those are the only pictures of my family that I've seen, actually seen with my own two eyes. I don't want new ones. So what aren't you telling me??"

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657Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:20 pm

"You don't want them all back, Marnin," I frown, my voice just above a whisper, "Think of who gave them to you..."

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658Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:26 pm

"What do you mean??" I ask with a heavy frown.

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659Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:27 pm

I tense at his continued questioning, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. 

"They're not pictures you want."

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660Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:30 pm

"They are!" I insist, thoroughly confused. "Milly helped me pick them, helped me label them! The only one she didn't help with was after-" I inhale sharply, realization hitting me square in the chest.

"Oh," I breathe, half-gagging as I scramble off of the couch. "I'm gonna be sick."

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661Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:34 pm

I frown as he scrambles off towards the edge of the room, scooting to the edge of my seat helplessly.

"Marn-" I call out as he disappears into the bathroom, my shoulders sagging at the sound of his retching. "Marn, I'm sorry."

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662Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:51 pm

Even before I've vomited up every drop of liquor I'd had to drink, my soup and brownie coming up with it, I feel dirty and wrong. I shake when I get to my feet, walking carefully over to the tub to run a bath.

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663Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:52 pm

When I hear the sound of water running, I struggle upright to follow behind him, concerned. Stepping to the edge of the door, I lean against it heavily as I watch him with a frown.

"Marn, I'm so sorry," I say weakly.

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664Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:58 pm

"He probably did that with all of my pictures," I say weakly, a sick feeling clenching my empty stomach. I try to ignore it as I slowly strip out of my pajamas. "Milly would have kept him from it... but now that she's gone and he has the pictures back... you're right. I'll have to find new ones. Or just stop being so fucking sentimental and accept that they're gone. I'm beginning to realize that holding on is what fucks me - every time. I'd have tossed that fucking phone ages ago if I could just let go."

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665Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 5:00 pm

"You can't blame yourself because he's a monster, Marnin," I frown, gripping the doorframe as I shift my weight. "That's not fair to you."

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666Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 5:07 pm

"No, but I can blame myself for being a blind idiot!" I reply sharply, hot tears stinging at my eyes as I kick my pants off angrily. "And I don't mean literally, that was definitely his fault. But I shouldn't be so god damn naive. I get so stupidly hopeful when it seems like he's showing some kind of humanity. I should know better. He's never just given me something to be nice. He just likes seeing me surprised and happy so he can rip the rug out from under me when the other shoe drops."

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667Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 5:14 pm

"So stop!" I say roughly, tears stinging at my own eyes as I avoid looking at Marnin. "Stop thinking he can be fixed, that he'll get better or he'll see the light. He's a monster, he's worse than Gatz, he's worse than anyone.


"Why does he still have your affections!?" I tense as I glance towards him, "I've seen the way you let him touch you, that's not an act. Not at it's core. You've been comfortable with it before, and it almost seems like you crave it. How can you?"

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668Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 5:26 pm

"I don't know!" I cry, shame flushing through my entire body as I sink onto the edge of the tub to drop my head in my hands. "It's been like that for as long as I can remember, Ljuba. The way he does things... leaving me in that dungeon with Ivan and Victor for weeks. You're right, I do crave it! When he'd come for me, it was the only comfort I'd ever know, when he touched me, it was the only time I didn't hurt.

"I'd beg to be with him," I say weakly. "And I'd melt down when he'd push me away because I knew it meant going back down there with them. I know he's responsible for all my suffering, I've always known, but I can't help it!" I'm crying uncontrollably now, more disgusted with myself than anything. "I love him, Ljuba. I hate that he's manipulated and warped my perception of what love is so that I do, but I do. I hate him, Lju... I hate him so fucking much, but god help me... when I kill him, my heart will break for him."

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669Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 5:35 pm

"Will you even be able to..?" I ask weakly, watching him cautiously.

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670Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 5:41 pm

"I don't know," I breathe weakly. "That's one of the reasons I wanted to help you face Gatz... I needed to see that it could be done. I know our circumstances are completely different, but I just feel like if I could witness it, if you could be brave enough to face him down, then maybe I could be, too.

"I hadn't really planned it all out yet," I admit quietly. "I just knew that we had to kill Gatz first, and that I wanted you to be there with me when I tried to tackle my devil. I don't think I could do it alone. He'd find a way to suck me back in, I know it. But if you're there, I'll remember that it doesn't have to be this way."

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671Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 6:40 pm

"I'm here now," I say, stepping in to sit on the edge of the tub.

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672Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 6:46 pm

My heart pounds at the suggestion in what she's just said, my eyes widening as they track blindly in the darkness. My thoughts race over the hundreds of possible scenarios I've imagined over the years, my mouth going dry and my hands clammy with fear.

"How would I do it, though?" I breathe, wanting to scoot closer to her, but remaining frozen on the edge of the tub

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673Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 6:57 pm

I tense as I shrug, looking down at the water absently.

"There's not much we can do right now. I can hardly walk, your arms are covered in stitches... We're stuck right now."

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674Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 7:07 pm

"No, I want to do it," I breathe tensely. I don't know if it's the alcohol or the prospect of actually doing it, but I feel buzzed on the idea. "Not now, but soon... we should do it, Ljuba. We should figure out how to do it... I want to feel his heart stop."

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675Trigger Happy Jack - Page 27 Empty Re: Trigger Happy Jack on Thu Apr 07, 2016 7:09 pm

"He'll just order you to stop-" I start, frowning a bit as I look up at him. "But what put me in the dungeons, before you came..? I hurt him, in the tub. Pushed back, I don't know, but he couldn't stop me, he couldn't talk.

"So if you can stop him from talking... You could do it."

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