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Trigger Happy Jack II.V

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151 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Sat Apr 23, 2016 2:38 am

"I don't think he's got a phone." I say, "Besides, what would I say? 'Sorry, can't make the wedding. No hard feelings, something's just come up.'?"

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152 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Sat Apr 23, 2016 2:56 am

"Good point," I say, laughing awkwardly as I shake my head. "It's not exactly an easy conversation to have, is it?"

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153 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Mon Apr 25, 2016 9:11 pm

"I'm sort of hoping he's forgotten it was supposed to happen anyway... Or maybe he's a real jerk and-" I shrug, frowning as I stare out the window.

"I'm the jerk, aren't I..?" I ask, "For not going."

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154 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Mon Apr 25, 2016 9:16 pm

"Your friends are in trouble," I respond with a faint shrug. "I feel like any reasonable person would understand why you had to go. Particularly if you've never met one another. Social duty should never trump the importance of someone's life."

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155 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Mon Apr 25, 2016 9:23 pm

"I don't think I want to go back, though." I respond, drawing my legs up into the seat so I can nestle against the door comfortably.

"After what you said earlier... I don't think I want to settle anywhere. I'm only seventeen, I don't want to be someone's housewife."

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156 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Mon Apr 25, 2016 10:33 pm

"There's nothing wrong with that," I say mildly. "I'd hope a man who wanted you to be his wife would respect you enough to not want to force you into it."

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157 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Mon Apr 25, 2016 10:59 pm

"It's not really him I'm worried about, honestly. I don't know him, he might be perfectly lovely. It's my father - his parents." Sighing, I adjust my head against the window. "I'm in my head. There's no point to it."

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158 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Mon Apr 25, 2016 11:04 pm

"Then I'd hope the same for your father and his parents," I frown slightly as I glance at her. "What's the point of seeing to your duty and having a successful lineage if you're not happy? What are you doing besides making new poths who also get the pressure to be unhappy so they can make more children who'll also be unhappy? It seems like a vicious cycle. Live first, then see to your duty."

I hesitate for a moment as I watch the road before glancing at her. "Also: I had no idea you were only seventeen..."

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159 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Mon Apr 25, 2016 11:57 pm

"My mother married my father at fourteen." I respond with a shrug, "My cousins have married, one at twelve and the other fourteen. I think the only reason my father held off until now was because other's find me peculiar.

"You didn't mean about my age in regards to marriage, did you?" I ask as I pick my head up to look at him.

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160 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Tue Apr 26, 2016 12:01 am

"Not really," I smirk as I glance at her. "I meant more that I seem to have a knack for - ah - finding comfort in youth?"

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161 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Tue Apr 26, 2016 12:12 am

I chuckle at that as I stretch my legs to rest against the dash, peering up at the sky as we drive. 

"You're what my dad would've called 'a dirty old man.' I don't think he ever once used the word pervert. No. They always always dirty old men."

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162 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Tue Apr 26, 2016 12:15 am

"I was also a dirty young man," I laugh as I stretch my leg out more comfortably, my other remaining propped against the gas pedal. "And in sixty years, I'll be a dirty old coffin stuffer."

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163 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Tue Apr 26, 2016 12:17 am

"Still finding comfort in youth, I'm sure." I grin, "You'll be buried right in the midst of them."

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164 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Tue Apr 26, 2016 12:18 am

"One can only hope," I grin as I glance at her.

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165 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Tue Apr 26, 2016 12:20 am

"So how did you wind up traveling with them, anyway?" I ask, "I remember what you said you were doing, but not why

"Is it something you want? Going after that man?"

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166 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:07 pm

"I don't know," I frown quietly, my nails dragging across the fabric of my pants absently as I stare at the road. "In a way, yes? I keep telling myself I've moved on since Maja died, but it's not really true. I bed strangers for money... I never would have done that before. But now? It's the only way I feel safe enough getting close to someone - it's just a given that I won't get to keep them, so I don't ever have to think about it.

"And I don't," I breathe. "I never think about Maja or Ljuba or what happened. After I left, I drank myself into a stupor for months, and when I bounced back into sobriety, it was like it never happened. I never allowed myself to think about them or anything that happened during that time of my life. I locked everything away, even the fishing trips I took with my dad, because it was too risky to linger on it. I just pushed forward with half of myself shut down for business.

"Maybe facing the man that did this will help me get past it," I shrug. "Maybe I'll finally be able to get on with my life and stop running, you know?"

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167 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:16 pm

"Would you like to start a family?" I ask a bit quietly, watching him with a touch of sadness. "I mean, once you've stopped 'running,' is that what you have in mind for yourself?"

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168 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:24 pm

"I don't know," I breathe, shaking my head roughly as a lump threatens to form in my throat. "I can't even really think about all of that yet. I wanted one, very much so. Now... I have no idea what I want."

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169 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:33 pm

"You're in good company, then." I offer with a slight shrug. "It's sort of exciting though, isn't it? Not having a plan, not knowing where you'll wind up. Who you'll wind up with, if anyone."

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170 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Thu Apr 28, 2016 3:04 pm

"It is," I admit with a light laugh. "That's one of the reasons I was never in any hurry to move past this most recent phase in my life. It's exciting, going somewhere new, meeting new people. Now that I'm pushing forward, it's both frightening and exciting. I'm learning new things about myself... I might not even be the same person when all of this is through."

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171 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Thu Apr 28, 2016 3:07 pm

"Well, what have your learnt about yourself?" I ask, twisting into the seat to settle in as I look at him.

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172 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Thu Apr 28, 2016 3:13 pm

"Honestly, it's not all good things," I laugh, shaking my head. "I've learned I'm more inclined toward this kind of life than I expected... that even after half a decade, I'm still holding onto grudges and that I'm not as forgiving as I'd once thought. And in the face of it all, I'm... I don't know, stoic? After the initial panic when Ljuba was taken, I just felt hard. And not the good kind of hard."

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173 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Thu Apr 28, 2016 3:17 pm

"Don't be crass," I scold with a light laugh, hiding behind my arm as I look up at him from my spot.

"It's a good thing, though, I agree. I think having someone like you around is good for Cael. He struggles."

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174 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Thu Apr 28, 2016 3:26 pm

"Yeah, he's a very intense bloke, isn't he?" I laugh a bit as I glance over my shoulder into the back. "Very emotional. I'd have thought after a century, he'd be more collected. Instead he's like a twenty year old who just lost his first girlfriend."

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175 Re: Trigger Happy Jack II.V on Thu Apr 28, 2016 3:40 pm

"Hmm," I sigh, leaning my head over my arm to peer back towards the sleeping man. "I remember reading about echoes, when my dad would be too busy with ones he didn't like me around. They have this constant battle inside of them. Power, indulgence, survival, all these opposing needs. Some theorize that, from an evolutionary standpoint, the echoes shouldn't even exist. They were more a stepping stone between eras, and the stragglers that are still among us are on their way out. 

"On top of that, they tend to be addiction prone, depressed, reckless. That leads to poverty, which leads to more addiction, depression and recklessness. They're sort of eternal teenagers, if you think about it. The rest of us get older, settle in. We leave our vices behind, have families, and just live. Doesn't seem to work that way for them."

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